Hanging the Hammock

I bought a hammock a few weeks ago for an insane price ($10) at target on clearance. Sarah and i decided the front porch was a good place to put it. Well that was the easy part...The hard part was standing on rickety ladder reaching as high as I could to screw these huge hammock screws into the ceiling of the porch which is pretty high. Well i hung it up good, then tested it and it looked like a bowl. So i spread it our more and found i needed more chain...Off to Lowes i went...I found some chain i liked and asked a man with a lowes jacket on to cut me 2 feet...He said "we only sell it in liner feet"..to which i said "of course" (act like a man). Well he cut me "2 liner feet" of my chain, and wrote 2 liner feet and the item number......so i went up front to buy it...The man at the register said he didn't know how to ring linear feet up....So a girl worker came over and said "we don't sell that in linear feet" to which said, "hey the guy back there put it on the bag i just want 2 feet of chain" So she pulls out her tape measure and measures my chain.."THIS IS 2.6 feet, are you trying to steal!?"....so i said how about you charge me for 3 FEET of chain and i go home....So she did...and my hammock is now hanging on the porch... :c)